Mom Shaming: We’ve ALL done it. I don’t care who you are or what your stance is on different issues. You have mom shamed a fellow mom for her decisions either publicly, to a friend, or silently to yourself. Mom shaming trends are a sad reality. Go ahead. Google it. I’ll wait.
Top 5 Mom Shaming Trends
1. Baby Delivery Choices
You’re pregnant, and you are so excited to meet your little one. You may have donned that famous glow the entire 9 months, and you’ve never felt more comfortable in your own skin! Or maybe you’ve hated your pregnancy. You spent 36 of the 40 weeks vomiting and barely able to walk due to sciatica and/or round ligament pain. I’ve experienced both sides of the spectrum. So when does the mom shaming begin. It usually begins when you decide whether or not to induce. Some Mamas are hell-bent on having a “natural” (all babies are born natural, btw) birth, and they don’t want any interventions (including pitocin via induction). Some Mamas are simply “over it” and ready to gain their body back. They schedule an induction the moment they can. Let’s stop worrying about how other Mamas are delivering their babies! I’m pretty sure the OB’s and Midwives know what they’re doing. Drug-free, epidural…everyone’s body is different, and everyone handles pregnancy different. So let’s just celebrate together! Just sayin’ 😉
2. Breast vs Bottle
Another instance of mom shaming comes when you make the decision whether to breastfeed or formula feed. We all know that breast milk has some pretty amazing nutrients in it that are wonderful for babies (as well as other home remedies). But just because it’s awesome doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for everyone. I was 22 when I had my first daughter, and I didn’t really have a great support system at all. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I only lasted about 5 days on the breastfeeding battle. My second child was breastfed (with a small amount of formula supplementation) until he was 6 months old, and my third child was breastfed until 10 months. Hallelujah! We made it to 10 whole months! But guess what?! None of my kids were malnourished, and they were all very healthy babies! As long as baby is being fed nutritious, healthy food, that’s all that really matters. So stop shaming moms for not breastfeeding, mkay? Thanks 🙂
3. WAHM vs SAHM vs Working Moms
Then we start mom shaming over the decision to work outside of the home or stay at home with the kids. What prompted me to write this blog post was a facebook group comment from a woman that said women use homeschooling their kids as an excuse to stay at home and “not have to work”. I’m posting the photo so that you can read exactly what she wrote, but her justification was that most stay at home moms are lazy and that she didn’t want her sons to marry a woman who didn’t plan on working outside of the home, and she didn’t want her daughter to grow up thinking that she could rely on a man to take care of her. In her mind, everything is 50/50 responsibility. My response is shown in the photo as well. Needless to say, I walked away from the situation. Some of us work from home, some stay at home with the kids (which is one of the hardest jobs, btw), and some of us work outside of the home. I have also done all three. Each has its pros and cons. I certainly miss having adult conversations everyday with clients. I miss getting dressed up to go to the office (some days). But some days I enjoy staying in my workout clothes all day. I enjoy being able to sit and play with playdoh with my 2 year old while she talks with me about her day. We all adjust to what works for our own families. Stop judging working moms and stay at home moms!
4. Over the Top Moms vs Minimalist Moms
Now the “cool moms” are out there throwing their super expensive, extravagant pinterest parties for their kids, and looking down on us moms that aren’t quite as crafty (or don’t quite have the money or want to spend the money). Pinterest parties are ADORABLE! But don’t shame other moms for their “lack of creativity” or whatever you want to call it. I, personally, would rather let my kids have an experience for their birthday…take them to a water park, skiing, camping, etc. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine. Neither one is better. Just because you spend hundreds of dollars on a fondant cake, and I bake mine from scratch doesn’t make either of us better party planners.
5. Model-Home Mom vs Tornado Alley Mom
Last but not least: Being a tidy, neat mom is not something you’re born with. It is a learned skill that takes years of practice while training yourself and your kids. How many of you could have company over at a moment’s notice without hesitation? I can’t. I’m not a very organized, clean person. I struggle with this, y’all! I think my inner free-spirited nerd holds me back in this area as well. I have a project mentality, and when I get started doing something, I have the tendency to become easily distracted by plans, dreams, and other projects! For example: if I start cleaning the kitchen (just cleaning off the counter/stove, etc), I sometimes tend to think the cabinets need reorganized or that I need to declutter the Tupperware. Stop shaming each other because our homes aren’t Chip and Joanna Gaines ready! What works for you may not work for your girlfriends when it comes to housework. So stop making your friends feel bad, and do us all a favor. If we ask for advice in this area, give it. If we don’t, please don’t point out our flaws. We’re working on it! P.S. if you’re like me and struggle with keeping a tidy home, check out Nony’s page at ASlobComesClean.com. She’s truly changed the way I view myself and my home projects.
These are just a few mom shaming trends that we are faced with everyday. We should build each other up instead of tearing each other down. Do me a favor and compliment a mom today for something. Tell her what an awesome job she’s doing at raising responsible kids. Tell her how you love how well put together she always is. Tell her you’ve noticed that she looks so fabulous with little to no makeup on. She will remember it and it will warm her heart. And it will make you feel great, too! I promise! Do you have some more to share? Comment below and let us know how you feel about mom shaming!