Stop Giving Your Family Leftovers (It’s Not About Food)
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I’d closed two big sales, made it through five client strategy meetings, and still had 121 unread emails when I shut my laptop. By the time my son asked what was for dinner, I had almost nothing left.
When I told him we were having leftovers, I realized the food wasn’t what was bothering me. My family was getting whatever remained of my energy, attention, and patience after I’d spent the day giving so much at work.
In this episode of Perfection Hangover, I talk about work-life balance, seeking validation through achievement, and what happens when the people closest to us get the most exhausted version of us. I share how I’m handling calls from my adult daughter during work, making room for individual time with my younger kids, and reconsidering social commitments that leave me drained.
I also talk about the perfectionism that almost kept me from recording this conversation. I filmed it three times, waiting for it to feel right, while talking about the very pressure I was struggling to put down.
In This Episode
- Why recognition at work can make it tempting to keep giving more.
- The difference between being home and being available to connect.
- Setting work boundaries with family—and following through when you promise to call back.
- Giving each child attention that fits their individual needs.
- Noticing when friendships and social plans leave little energy for home.
- Recognizing when frustration from work carries into family conversations.
- Making a small transition between the workday and time with the people you love.
One Thing to Try
At the end of your next workday, take a few minutes before moving into the evening. Close your laptop, put your phone aside, and notice what you’re still carrying from work.
Then make room for a short, focused check-in with someone you love. Listen without multitasking, and pay attention to whether they want conversation or a little space.
The five to ten minutes I mention in the episode are a starting point for connection, not a rule about how much attention a child needs.
Explore Your Own Perfectionism Patterns
If it’s hard to stop working because there’s always another task to finish or another chance to prove yourself, you may recognize The Achiever in my free Perfection Hangover Archetype Guide. If other people’s approval keeps pulling you past your limits, The Performer may feel familiar, too.
The guide introduces six perfectionism patterns, the beliefs behind them, and their hidden costs. It’s a place to begin noticing what’s driving you to give more than you have available.
