Waiting to Be Finished Before You Let Yourself Be Seen
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I built eight different websites in six months while also working on a book, a keynote, and this podcast. Coming up with something to do clearly wasn’t my problem. But I started wondering how much of that activity was helping me share the work I actually care about.
There was always another sentence to fix or another question about whether I was qualified. Eventually, I had to ask myself: Am I waiting for the work to be ready, or am I waiting until I feel like a finished person?
In this episode of Perfection Hangover, I talk about the pressure to have something completely worked out before you’re allowed to talk about it. I want to help women recognize perfectionism patterns, yet I catch myself believing I need to stop having those patterns before I can be useful.
I also share how this connects to the version of myself I showed online after my divorce. I wanted people to see that I was strong and doing well, even while I was hurting. I post less now, but I still want validation. Pretending otherwise would be another way of presenting myself as further along than I am.
Preparation matters. So do accuracy and privacy. But I’m learning to ask whether another revision will improve the work or whether I’m hoping it will make me feel completely safe from criticism.
My faith is part of this, too. I believe God has called me to help women through this work, and I’m looking at the conditions I keep attaching to taking the next step.
In This Episode
- Staying busy with new projects while delaying the work that matters to you.
- Feeling unqualified to help because you’re still working through the same patterns.
- The connection between sharing a highlight reel and waiting until you have everything figured out.
- Recognizing when preparation has become an endless requirement.
- Sharing honestly while respecting your own privacy and other people’s stories.
- Taking a manageable step before you feel completely confident.
One Thing to Try
Complete this sentence:
“I keep waiting until I’m ______ before I let myself ______.”
Then name the preparation that’s actually necessary. Maybe you need to check a fact, update an application, or write down what you want to say in a conversation.
Choose one step that fits where you are today. You get to decide how big it is and who gets to see it. It doesn’t have to become a public announcement.
Explore Your Own Perfectionism Patterns
If you’re spending more time worrying about how people will see you than deciding whether your work is ready, the Performer may feel familiar.
My free guide to the six perfectionism archetypes explores the beliefs behind these patterns and their hidden costs. It’s a starting point for recognizing how the need for approval may be shaping what you share—or keep putting off.
