Why Do I Still Feel Like I Have Something to Prove?: Six Figures and the Seat I Was Already Sitting In

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Have you ever reached the goal you’d been chasing for years and still felt like you had to earn your place every single day?

For several years in a row, I wrote $100,000 on my vision board. I was working at a bank making about $45,000, the most I’d ever earned, with no college degree. When a client success role at a tech company came up, my own brother warned me not to be surprised if they only offered $80K or $90K. They hired me at $105,000.

In this episode, I share what happened after I hit that number. I thought the proving would finally stop. It didn’t. It moved to a new building and got a Slack login. I became known as the “scrappy little client success manager,” messaging people all over the company, until my boss told me I didn’t have to comment on everything.

I also talk honestly about where that drive comes from: growing up with little to no money, being the eldest daughter, and being compared to an older brother who was a rock star athlete while I was the kid with cankles who couldn’t run. I’m proud of how scrappy I had to be. I’m also still learning that I don’t have to audition for my seat.

If you’ve hit your number, gotten the title, and still feel like you could be found out at any moment, this conversation is for you.

In this episode:

• The vision board number I wrote down for years, and the job that finally matched it.
• Why reaching a big goal didn’t quiet my need to prove myself.
• How growing up poor and being compared to a sibling shaped the way I show up at work.
• The difference between doing the work and auditioning for your seat over and over.
• What two speaking invitations, ten years apart, taught me about the proof that’s already there.
• A simple exercise for the next time you feel the itch to prove yourself.

Something to consider this week:

Write down what people have already trusted you with. Leave off the resume stuff and list only the trust. The next time you feel the pull to send one more email or say yes to one more thing, pull out that list and ask yourself whether the work needs it or you’re trying to earn a seat you’re already sitting in.

Discover your perfectionism pattern

Take the free Perfection Hangover Archetype Quiz to explore the patterns that may be showing up in your decisions. My result is The Prover, which probably won’t shock you after this episode. What resonates with you?

If a friend came to mind while you listened, send her this episode. It might start a conversation you both need.