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We’ve all been guilty of falling into the comparison trap. They say comparison is the thief of joy, and it’s true. Have you ever had an awesome day when suddenly something happens, and you’re left feeling depleted and “less than”?
This was likely triggered by comparing yourself to others. We do it all the time, by the way.
When our friends lose weight, we’re happy for them, but at the same time, we might feel a bit jealous or envious. After all, they only needed to lose about 10 pounds, and here you are doing the damn thing, eating kale and legumes, and you need to drop 35 pounds but it’s just not coming off.
I want to share one mindset trick that can help you stop the perfection hangover (that feeling that you’re not perfect, will never be perfect, and you’re depleted from trying so hard to compete with the world).
How to Stop the Comparison Trap
When you find yourself feeling envious, comparing yourself to another person and possibly even feeling bad for their successes, stop.
Take a moment to pray and thank God (or jot in your gratitude journal) three things you’re thankful for related to the comparison you’re in right in the moment.
For example, I drive a 2008 Yukon Denali with 120,000 miles on it. It’s a nice car. Don’t get me wrong, but it’s old and doesn’t have Bluetooth (a necessity).
After we bought it, the driver’s side door handle broke, the dash cracked in one spot, and I often find myself wishing that I could have a newer vehicle. In this case, my comparison trap leaves me looking at neighbors, friends, and even my husband’s newer vehicle wishing I had something newer.
This morning, I found myself thinking those very things, and I stopped to pray about it. What am I thankful for?
- I’m thankful that I got rid of my husband’s car (which I hated) to get this car with a third-row seat. As a family of five, if you don’t have a third row, you have to take two separate cars if you have even one person extra with you.
- I’m thankful that we moved away from Illinois (the absolute worst state in the Union) back to Florida (a FIVE YEAR goal for me), and we now live in a subdivision with lots of kids for my kids to play with. They are thriving, and every day they’re getting out of the house and playing with friends. We lived in the country before and the kids’ friends never came over (except for family).
- I’m thankful that I have my online business where I can afford to work from home. I don’t have to put many miles on my old car, so it will last longer than if I was working outside the home!
Do you see the mindset shift? I went from feeling that I have a 13-year-old car that’s noisy and wanting something better to being grateful for that very car and everything that has led me to purchase it.
Is there something you’ve been comparing to your own life that’s leaving you depleted? Take a moment and try this trick! Let me know if it works down in the comments!
I’ve done all the things! Girl, I’ve washed my face. I’ve trashed everything that doesn’t spark joy. I’ve walked the baby steps. I’ve cried. I’ve prayed, but my perfectionism has really held me back.
Perfection Hangover can be crippling. Stop comparing yourself to others and start living your best life! That’s why PH exists! I want to encourage you to take control of your money, your blog, and your business.
2 thoughts on “One Simple Trick to Stop the Comparison Trap”
Great attitude! You may find that when you reach financial independence someday, which I know you will, that having a better car doesn’t mean that much to you any more. My wife and I have been blessed with a lot more money than we will ever need and we still drive a 2006 and a 2008 car. Being able to afford a Mercedes and a BMW, which we could just write checks for tomorrow, doesn’t mean it makes sense to spend that much for a fancy ride. It just feels wasteful to me to put 50 or 60 thousand dollars into an automobile when a 10 or 20 thousand dollar one is just as useful. I think sometimes the fact that you can’t afford something early in life is the main reason people want it so bad. When they can afford it, it doesn’t matter all that much because it isn’t out of reach any more.
Very good advice, Steve! And you are so right! And when we have it, we don’t appreciate it and always want more and more. Gotta keep ourselves in check!